Breaking news as the Virgin Vote has been counted and will award 27 electoral votes to AEW’s Tony Khan. The votes span across the Bible Belt of people saving themselves for Marriage. But mostly men who have fallen to the bottom of the comments and can’t get up.

No surprise there as Tony has now won the virgin vote for the last 5 years with AEW, as Tony Twitter Fingers looks to become booker of the year. This’ll be a longshot at best. Tony’s path to victory goes through women, young viewers and casuals. These are areas where AEW struggled in 2024 with their live attendance looking like the dance floor at a Black wedding when they play Come on Eileen.